Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Well, Minnie suggested that we all share our testimonies. So, here is mine! I don’t know how exciting it will be. I don’t know if I have ever really shared my testimony before. So, here goes!

I was fortunate and blessed to have two wonderful Christian parents in my life. From the time I can remember, church has always been a part of my life. I grew up in a very small Methodist church. It was very “traditional” and not “liberal” like many UMC have become. It was your typical “country church”. My parents were the youth group leaders when I was very young and they had a thriving youth program. THRIVING! They did some amazing things with the youth of that church. For example, they took them to Mt. Monadnock Family Camp in Massachusetts. Yeah, and we lived in Ohio! So, they were very involved and did great things for those kids. SO! We were basically at the church whenever the doors were open or we were the ones who opened them! I made the decision to become a Christian and accept Jesus into my life on March 6, 1986. I was nearly 10 years old. I was baptized in a creek and was a “Christian”.

As a kid and all through high school, I was a good kid! My biggest fear was disappointing my parents…and truth be told, I still think that is one of my biggest fears! So, I was a good kid. Didn’t get into a whole lot of trouble. There were a few months where I was “rebellious” with my middle sister – who was very rebellious – but very minor things, really.

So, I attended church and was a “Christian”. Well, I decided to go to college with a friend. I was actually accepted and all ready to enroll at a Christian college when I changed my mind because I wanted to be with my best friend. So, I went to Eastern Michigan University. That is a BIG party school…and boy did I get sucked up into the party scene….BIG time. There are many, many things that happened in college that I regret. Many, many things! When I was at college, I still attended church with my parents occasionally….certainly not every Sunday. I still considered myself a “Christian” even though my behavior was not Christ-like.

I ended up dropping out of college (with only a little more than a year left) and moving in with my parents. That didn’t last long because I wanted the freedom I had enjoyed at college. So, I decided to move back to Ohio (my parents were living in Michigan at the time) and in with my Grandma. I quickly got into the routine of hanging out with ALL the WRONG people. I visited church occasionally…but was not living the life I knew I should be living.

So, I was dating men who were very wrong for me…and had just ended a bad relationship with a 33-year-old man (I was 21) who was an alcoholic and drug addict. I was depressed. So, my aunt (who was really a bad influence on me, but the closest thing I had to a good friend at that time) told me I should try this country radio stations free dating service. So, I did. They give everyone 6 matches immediately….and one of those guys was my husband. We met and hit it off and he was a Christian. I started going to church with him (Bethany) and started getting my life back on track. He really was the best thing that happened to me. When we first started dating, I was kinda living a double life because I was still drinking and smoking and partying when I wasn’t with him. He didn’t know that…but after we had been dating for about a month or two, I realized that the life I could have with him was the kind of life I wanted….and that meant that I had to turn my life around. Not for Scott…but for me. I started taking my Christianity seriously and started living like a Christian.

Now, it hasn’t been easy but I am on the right track. I am closer to God now than I have ever been before. I think that I became a Christian as a kid…but I didn’t really understand what that meant….and I think I did it then more for my parents. It wasn’t until much later in my life…..in my early 20’s…that I really made that decision for ME. I decided that I wanted to be a Christian because that is how I wanted to live my life…not just to please someone else.

There are some definite prices that I have had to pay for turning my back on God for so many years. I live with the pain and the guilt of the bad decisions that I made every day. In fact, I was talking to HBM last night and she said something that has really stuck with me. She said that when we make decisions we need to be able to live with ourselves and the decision that we made. It takes a long time to forgive yourself. You may forgive me…but I haven’t forgiven me. She said it much better than I am saying here. But the bottom line is….there are still many things that I have not forgiven myself for.

God is still working on me. He will always be working on me. That used to be my favorite song when I was a kid, “He’s Still Working on Me”. Thank the Lord that He is still working on me and that HE didn’t give up on me…even when I gave up on me…HE didn’t give up on me.

I know there is a lot I am leaving out. Some of it is on purpose…because I don’t know how much you all really want to know about me ….some of it is because I still can’t admit all that I have done. But the main thing is….God certainly has a hold of me and I am not going to let Him let go of me. He has a specific plan for me….and I strive each day to fulfill His purpose for me. I am so thankful that I am a Princess….I am a child of THE KING. That much I am for sure of and that much I am proud of.

Thanks for “listening” to my testimony.

4 comments:

Sara said...

What a powerful testimony you have! I knew most of it just from knowing you over the years and talking to you, but I think it's very inspirational to hear things you have gone through and then to see where you are now!

Kelley said...

That is a beautiful testimony! I find it very inspiring to read about people that I know and realize where they came from. How funny that we talked about that last night AND we talked about it in the CAYAC group tonight! Praise the Lord!!! Lots of Love!

SebbieDue said...

Precious!

I'm still amazed at how many people I would never have known if it weren't for Jesus! I'm glad I know you and thank you for sharing that piece of yourself. :)

Much love!

girlie_mom said...

Thank you for sharing! I also knew lots of it from knowing you so long. It amazes me how similiar our lives have been. And how close our families are today. I thank God that we have you guys in our lives. We LOVE you!