I am Alive!!!

Well, I am still alive…I have just not been myself this week. Imagine that?!?! Let’s see. I can update you on my week because there hasn’t been that much excitement!

Sunday…we had a good night with Baby (my new name for her…since she is my baby!) so we all got up and got ready for church. Hubby and the kids were going to Sunday School and then Hubby was coming home to get Baby and me. Well, about the time I was ready to fix my hair, our power went out! That was a bummer. I almost didn’t go to church…but it came back on and I was able to get ready. My hair still looked like crap because I was trying to fix it without power and blah, blah, blah. Anyways! So, Hubby came home and got me and Baby and took us to church. She slept through her entire first visit to church. My parents came…that was wonderful for me! So, right before the service began, my mom leans over to me and says: “Okay, you can hold her until the singing starts because she is your baby and you earned that right. But once the music starts, you need to hand her over to me.” I just laughed because my poor mom has had such little baby time because she has helped me so much with the other two….and it was just so funny coming from her. So, I, like a good daughter, handed her over! My mom just enjoyed holding her. There is something about seeing my parents with my kids that just melts my heart and brings back so many good memories. I really have the best parents in the whole world…right Sister???? So, the service was good and then afterwards…even though the sermon was on gluttony…we went to Ryans. That is where we have gone to dinner after each “first service” for all three of my kids. The only difference is that usually MIL and SILs are there….but they weren’t at church on Sunday…so they missed out. Priorities. But, I won’t get into that. Actually…I don’t blame SIL. She has her hands full with working more than a full-time job and taking care of Little B all by herself. So, if she over-slept and missed church, I am not going to give her a hard time. MIL, is another story. But again, I won’t go into that. SO! After dinner, we came home and took naps. It was nice…very nice! Actually, I don’t think I slept very long. I spent time playing and talking with I-Man while the girls were sleeping. OH, Hubby’s family was supposed to have a get-together, but that got cancelled at the last minute. So, he called SIL to make sure she knew…and he invited her over. He said she sounded like she could use some company when he talked to her. So, she came over and stayed for a while. That Little B looks so big next to Baby!!! She (SIL) is really doing so great with him. We are so proud of her. Anways….so it was time for choir practice…and I (severe over share alert) actually felt like I had to go poop ….so since it had been a week since I had last done that, I skipped choir practice. I felt so much better after going to the bathroom. I know that is TMI, but I was in pain!!! So, Hubby came home (he had taken the two big kiddos with him) and we got them in bed and then I went to women’s group for a little bit. It was nice to be out of the house and talk to my Girls for a bit. I didn’t get to visit with SQ or Minnie very much, but it was nice to go and have some girl talk for a while!!!

So, that was my excitement for the week….no, seriously! Monday….just stayed home with Baby and FAB. My mom picked up I-Man from school and then took FAB and I-Man until it was their bed-time. She did the same thing on Tuesday.

Wednesday….my mom and I got out of the house! She came over and picked up FAB, Baby and me and we went to visit my Grandma so she could see her newest Great-Granddaughter and the one that was born on her birthday. She held her and just stared at her. It was very sweet. We didn’t stay long…she smokes and her house is very smoky…so it isn’t good for any of us…especially Baby. But my Grandma was thrilled that we brought Baby over for her to hold and see. I am glad we did that. Then we went and my mom looked at a house in Fairborn….the girls and I stayed in the van. She didn’t like it, so she wasn’t in there very long. Then we went to lunch at Logans! That was very, very yummy!!! Baby slept most of the time…she woke up at the end to eat. FAB was very good. She has this shirt that looks like a big pumpkin (jack-o-lantern) and I think every waiter/waitress there had to stop and tell her how cute of a pumpkin she was. She is a ham! It was nice lunch with Mom and the girls!!! Then we came home and I was exhausted! That is the most I had done in a while. Mom got I-Man from school and then she went home. I got FAB to take a nap and I-Man and I colored and then he let me take a bit of a nap too. Hubby didn’t work late, so he was home for dinner…oh, and his other sister came to see Baby for the first time. She is a little odd….but she really loves her nieces and nephews and they love her. It is just a shame that her roommate and her are raising her roommate’s niece and nephew….they get more attention from SIL than my kids do…and somehow, she thinks that is our fault. I guess she doesn’t get that we are responsible parents and don’t want other people raising our kids. I don’t know if that made sense, but oh well.

So, that brings us to Wednesday night/Thursday. Well, Baby is really a wonderful baby! She only cries when you change her diaper. Other than that, she doesn’t cry (yet…I know that will change). She just whimpers to eat and that is about it. So, she is great at nights…usually only wakes up once to eat. Well, I have a cold…and I was up hacking most of Wednesday night. So, between my coughing and then feeding Baby….I didn’t sleep much at all. So, I was not feeling good on Thursday morning. I just felt horrible…and then the crying started again. OH, and I over-dosed myself on some of my pain medicine…took it sooner than I was supposed to…so I was in pretty bad shape. I finally called my Mom and through my tears, asked her if it was okay if Hubby took FAB to her house. She said of course…but wanted to ask me more questions about how I was feeling…which only made me cry more! So, Hubby took FAB to her house and then came back and took Baby and I FINALLY slept for about 2 hours. I woke up feeling a bit better….but still couldn’t stop crying. Hubby just held me and let me cry for the longest time…but he doesn’t understand why I just can’t stop crying and why I can’t explain why I am crying. He gets frustrated because he can’t fix it. So, Speedy called to check on me…and it was all I could do to not cry when I was talking to her. Sister called…and again, I had to fight back tears. I just sat and cried and cried. It is so frustrating!!!! So, Mom picked up I-Man from school and took them back to her house for a while. I was glad because I didn’t want him or FAB to see me like that. By the time she brought them home, I was feeling better and more in control. She brought us dinner…how wonderful of her! Hubby came home and we ate and then headed out to Small Group. I almost didn’t go…but I thought it would be good for me to get out of the house. Plus, I needed more pads, so I needed Hubby to take me to the store to get those. I would just have him buy them, but he never buys the right kind! LOL Well, Small Group was good. I started crying again at prayer time, because Hubby asked for prayers for me….but I was able to control it better. Again, I hate feeling out of control. So, we got home, got the kids to bed and watched Survivor…then I went to bed.

Last night was better….I didn’t cough nearly as much….and I had a long “talk” with God and myself last night. I just lay there in bed and was praying and realized that I have so much to be grateful for. God has given me way more blessings than I deserve. I mean, seriously, I have an awesome Christian husband who loves me and takes great care of me and our kids….I have three beautiful kids….I have a wonderful family who loves me and my husband and my kids….I have wonderful friends….and that isn’t even counting the material blessings that God provides for us. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and take it one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I am not going to be the world’s greatest mother overnight. I am going to have tough times with my three kids….but God doesn’t give us more than we can handle and I can handle this! So, I woke up in a much better state of mind this morning. It is already a much better day. I have had FAB and Baby all morning and FAB has been so sweet today. She must’ve sensed that she was rotten yesterday and that she needed to go easier on Mommy today. My Mom is going to pick I-Man up from school and then I think her and Dad are going to spend a little bit of time with us. Then MIL is picking up the two big kids and they are spending the night with her. Hubby is going to the Men’s Retreat at church. So, it will be just me and Baby tonight. Then tomorrow, MIL is dropping the kids off at 9:00 and it will be my first day with all three of the kids!!! So, say a little prayer for me tomorrow! I am feeling stronger (physically) every day….so I know I can do it. I just hope the kids are having a good day tomorrow! MIL was supposed to keep them most of the day, but her plans changed. I just talked to my mom and she said that she could help out some tomorrow afternoon after the funeral (one of her aunt’s died). But I know she is anxious to get home to Kentucky, so I am going to try to do it by myself!!! Again, I know I can do it…I just hope I have a good night tonight and I feel as good or better than I feel today!

Well, so you are up-to-date on my exciting week! I told you that not much happened! I am sure I will cry again tomorrow when my Mom goes home….just the security that she was so close by if I needed her has been nice. I cried both times she left before (when I had I-Man and FAB too). This is just one of those times in my life when I really need my mom! Her birthday is this weekend….I need to figure out a nice gift to get her!!!! She has done so much for my family over the past few weeks. God has blessed me beyond words.

Well…..I love you all and have been “lurking” to get caught up on everyone. Our computer was out of commission for a few days this week, so I got behind. Love and prayers!!!!